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Merry TeXmas


I expected a lot of nationalism when I moved to Texas, y’know, plenty of flags a-waving, and those culturally myopic “God Bless America” bumper stickers, as though the supreme universal deity cares only for my country. (Hey, I love America, too, but if God plays favorites, I’m gonna tell his mom.) Anyway, patriotism, I understand.

What I did not expect was the Tex-centricness of this particular state. In retrospect, the amount of Texas-shaped things I saw within moments of getting off the plane should have clued me in. On the way to baggage claim, I saw everything from belt buckles, cookies, tattoos, gold pendants, even a dachsund – no, not a Texan-shaped dachsund – but one wearing a sweater with a Texan star proudly stitched on the side.

Yes, it’s pretty hard to forget you are in Texas when you are in Texas; even with a severe head injury, I’ll wager you could figure that one out.

So the other day at Sam’s Club, I came across these Tex-Centric books and laughed. Wait, no, I guffawed (it sounds more Texan to guffaw, doesn’t it?) At any rate, I knew that I must quickly snap some pix to share with those of you who – gasp – live elsewhere.

First off, we have the “Texan Mother Goose,” which features such tales as “Mary Had a White-Faced Calf,” and “There Was an Old Cowgirl Who Lived in a Boot.”


Next, I saw the “Texas Aesop’s Fables,” which features such stories as “The Cowpoke Who Fooled His Friends.”


Next, we have the “Trucker’s Night Before Christmas,” which is written by the same guy who did the Texan Aesop’s fables, so while not all truckers are Texan, there is surely a connection.


Lastly, I came across this little gem, called “Ten Redneck Babies.” What might this be? Why, it’s a a book to teach younguns how to count. Stuff like: “5 redneck babies chomped watermelon. One made tracks – where to? No tellin’!”

Seems that there’s a lot to being Texan. I have much to learn. Wonder where the Texas books for adults are? Hmmm…

Tui Snider
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  1. Oh this post was too cute! I really enjoyed it. So you really are from Texas and seemed to have adjusted just fine. These book are cute and I guess every where has their own way of story telling and teaching…and you keep looking for them good ole adult books! LOL

    • mentalmosaic mentalmosaic

      I’ve lived in Belgium and Italy, but I’ve gotta say, Texas also feels like another country to me!

      Thanks for visiting. I hope to see you here again!


  2. Very informative post! I never knew about all that stuff from Texas! Us northerners have no clue lol! I enjoyed this a lot and look forward to reading more of your posts.

  3. Hi Mental! Welcome to Texas then! It is its own country here, true. But we do have just about every type of culture, terrain and landscape possible too. I’m south of ya in the Austin area…


    I’m enjoying getting to know this big state, since, as I confessed to you earlier, I suck at geography. Nice to meet you, Julia! :) Thanks for stopping by. ~Tui

  4. Hey buddy! I didn’t know you were in Texas! Where? Merry Christmas.
    Yup! I landed smack dab in the DFW area. Happy Holidays to you, too! :) ~Tui

  5. I was born in Texas and, even though I only lived there until I was 18 months old, I still consider myself a Texan. (Once a Texan, always a Texan.)
    I would love to have those first two books and will have to try and find them online.
    Here is one of my favorite quotes about being a Texan:
    “Never ask a man where he’s from. If he’s from Texas, he’ll tell you. If he isn’t, you don’t want to embarrass him.”
    When I first heard that phrase it had a different ending. It was:
    “And if he isn’t, it doesn’t matter anyway.”
    Either way, if you’re from Texas everyone you meet knows it.
    Thanks for a great post. I will go try to find those books now.

    Texas is quite a place. It’s like meeting someone with a really big personality. This state has got charisma, that’s for sure! I’ll bet those books are on Amazon. Where in Texas did you live? Thanks for your stopping by! ~Tui

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