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Tag: Texas

Fear and Loathing in Granbury Square

When I was a kid up in eastern Washington, I often carried pebbles in my pocket to toss ahead of me before stepping into tall grass. Sometimes I’d hear a rattler slithering out of the way afterwards. My little dog was good, too. She’d run ahead and keep the trail cleared of any snakes. I didn’t realize people ever shot snakes; so when I saw this ad for a snake gun proudly displayed in a shop window, it caught my eye. The ad amuses me because the guy they drew looks a bit like Hunter S. Thompson. I can just…

Merry TeXmas

Texas-goose

I expected a lot of nationalism when I moved to Texas, y’know, plenty of flags a-waving, and those culturally myopic “God Bless America” bumper stickers, as though the supreme universal deity cares only for my country. (Hey, I love America, too, but if God plays favorites, I’m gonna tell his mom.) Anyway, patriotism, I understand.

What I did not expect was the Tex-centricness of this particular state. In retrospect, the amount of Texas-shaped things I saw within moments of getting off the plane should have clued me in. On the way to baggage claim, I saw everything from belt buckles, cookies, tattoos, gold pendants, even a dachsund – no, not a Texan-shaped dachsund – but one wearing a sweater with a Texan star proudly stitched on the side.

Yes, it’s pretty hard to forget you are in Texas when you are in Texas; even with a severe head injury, I’ll wager you could figure that one out.

So the other day at Sam’s Club, I came across these Tex-Centric books and laughed. Wait, no, I guffawed (it sounds more Texan to guffaw, doesn’t it?) At any rate, I knew that I must quickly snap some pix to share with those of you who – gasp – live elsewhere.

Bubbly Clouds

I’ve decided to see how far my ‘shots from the passenger seat’ obsession will take me this month. Before I explain today’s pic, however, let’s take a moment to grieve together over the ones that got away. I was not quick enough, for example, to get a photo of the billboard showing a 6 pack of Miller beer which read, ‘Show the recession who is boss.’ (I can’t help but wonder if the the ad team come up with that one after sampling large quantities of the product.) I tried to get a photo of the furniture store marquis offering…

Pondering the Inflatable Elvis and Bad Realtor Headshots

I promise that my blog posts will be more than just things I have seen whilst whizzing down Texan highways, but it is nearly midnight, and it is NaBloPoMo, and it’s not every day that you see a giant inflatable Elvis. What amuses me about this one is that he looks more like an Asian Elvis impersonator than the King himself.  While I can’t say that makes me want to test-drive a Kia,  I assume it draws people in – or does it? Ever noticed how car dealerships have a thing for inflatable objects? Do balloons and American flags truly…

Got Gun?

Spending time in Texas when you’re from the north is rather like hanging out with an infamous uncle, the one you’ve been hearing outrageous stories about your whole life, but have never met. You step off the plane, shake his hand, and can’t help but keep a mental checklist of how he stacks up in real life versus all the family lore. As a newcomer, I am still sorting through Texan cliche versus Texan reality. One that’s ringing true so far is that folks like their guns down here. I have seen billboards for at least 3 different gun shows…