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Reverb 10: Falling back in touch with my wife-in-law

Today’s post was triggered by the following Reverb 10 prompt, which comes from Martha Mihalick

December 16 – Friendship How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

Santa Fe, New Mexico. Photo by Tui Cameron
Santa Fe, New Mexico. Photo by Tui Cameron

I recently spent a couple hours talking to my wife-in-law on the phone. What’s a wife-in-law, you ask? Simply put, a wife-in-law is the person who at one time was married to the same guy you are, or were. She and I coined that term one day when trying to explain to someone how we are related.

People are often surprised that I am friends with my ex-husband’s first ex-wife, but I sum it up like this, “My ex has great taste in wives.” I am not joking. He really does!

I haven’t met #3, but what from little I hear of her (and it is very little, indeed) she seems lovely. But that goes without saying, right?

When I met my ex’s first ex-wife, I wasn’t sure how to deal with the attraction I felt toward her, the feeling that under different circumstances, I would definitely want to be her friend. I didn’t expect to like her so much, but she’s kind, smart and funny, and – not surprisingly, I suppose – we have a lot in common.

I was jealous of her, too, because she was so beautiful and seemed to lead an exotic life. Plus, she got to be the “holiday mom,” letting our daughter eat candy after dinner and stay up all night. Meanwhile, I was the the evil step mom telling our daughter to brush her teeth, go to bed, and do her long division (I home-schooled her.)

Over the years, however, my wife-in-law and I have become great friends. Even so, life has been hectic for us both, and we fell out of touch. It had been ages since we spoke on the phone, but the moment I heard her voice, we were rambling like the old friends that we always will be.

After we hung up, I scolded myself for falling out of touch with people like her. I don’t mean to, but I get caught up and overwhelmed by the here and now and don’t make enough phone calls to people I care about.

I know plenty of people who are one their phones all day long, but I’m the opposite. I’ll turn mine off at the theater and forget to turn it back on until 2 days later!

I wasn’t always this way, but I have, for reasons I haven’t quite figured out, fallen out of the telephone habit. If someone calls me and my cell phone is actually on, charged, and within earshot, I answer, but I hardly ever make outgoing calls.

Note to self: From now on, I am going to make a lot more phone calls to friends and family!

Tui Snider
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Published inTravel Photo Essays


  1. What a great post! I love the term you coined…it makes perfect sense!

    I agree that it is far too easy to “fall out of touch” with people…life is too hectic and we just don’t take the time…it’s good to take the time!

  2. Wow.That is so cool. It says a lot that ya’ll are friends. It is an unusual friendship, but I get the impression you are an unusual person.

    Also, I REALLY like your new layout. It is much easier to find things.

    • mentalmosaic mentalmosaic

      Hi Jyllian – Yeah, it’s odd, but odd seems to be normal for me, somehow. Odd is the new black, in my case. ;p Thanks for the feedback on the new layout. I’ve been using my insomnia time to re-think my blog for the new year. :) ~Tui

  3. great photo! Interesting choice of friends

    • mentalmosaic mentalmosaic

      Hi Astra, Thanks for coming by and commenting. “Interesting choice of friends,” you say? Yeah, life’s funny like that! ~Tui

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