In keeping with December’s NaBloPoMo zeitgeist theme:
While grocery shopping the other day, I kept bumping into one buzzword after another. Take the photo above, for example. Isn’t it funny how just about any product can be a ‘solution’ these days?
Also, have you noticed how many coaching businesses there are these days? Nothing against coaching. Seems like a fine idea, and all. I like the idea of having somebody who is on your side, helping you out, coaching you towards success. I just wonder why the explosion of coaches. What changed?
As is my tendency, I started daydreaming. “If I had a coaching business, what could I name it that would cram as many buzzwords into one?” I mused, and came up with:
Simply Extreme Solutions – Helping Your Brand Make the Synergistic Paradigm Shift.
Pretty awful, huh?
Turns out, I’m not the only one musing about buzzword fever.
Mandy, who blogs at WTFMandy, came up with a list of the Top 5 Douchiest Corporate Buzzwords. As she explains:
Before I became a full-time stay-at-home-mom, I was part of the rat race. I had a career with a Fortune 500 company. Cubicle farm, never-ending meetings, business casual…the whole nine yards.
I talked the talk and walked the walk. The only problem is, “talking the talk” consists of using some of the douchiest buzz words and business-positive jargon found in the entire English language. When did “corporate speak” become so awful?
This website has a fun little gizmo called the Buzzword Generator on it. I just got “mesh killer mindshare,” and “envisioneer cross-platform synergies.”
Over at uwontblog, I found a post called Annoying Work Buzzwords for Strippers . (Warning: if you are easily offended, skip this link. It gets pretty ‘salty.’) My favorite one on the list is G-rated, though:
“Let’s really get creative tonight” – Go home and write Juno.
IBM even pokes fun at corporate buzzwords in this cute commercial. I have had jobs where I could play that game!
And, finally, Uri Friedman made me laugh with an article entitled Benchmarking Actionable Business Buzzwords, which opens with:
Businessmen like their lingo. Frankly, we at the Wire are surprised that Ben Bernanke, in his “60 Minutes” interview last night, didn’t make the following pronouncement: “In this mancession, with too few Jennifer Lopezes in the stock market, we’re hoping workers struggling with inadequate Scooby Snacks don’t hit the slide and become Ganjapreneurs.”
Yowza! I had never heard of a bunch of the terms he mentions in his article, actually.
Addendum to Reverb 10 prompt – Make
Yesterday, I posted about how much fun my boyfriend and I had gold-leafing a rusty old clawfoot tub in response to the Reverb 10 prompt which asked us to talk about something we made in 2010. I neglected the second part of the prompt, though, which asked if there was something we wanted to make, but hadn’t.
There are several things I want to make, but the biggest one is to make time to record some music again. I play a few instruments and write songs, but it has been ages since I recorded anything. I keep writing the occasional song, though, I’m just not doing anything with it.
I think it would be fun, too, if my stepdaughter made a video for one of my songs. She is an excellent photographer and has a great eye for poetic visuals. She lives in London, so a united creative project would be a fun way to stay connected, aside from emails, Skype and the all-too-infrequent visits.